Losing my life
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:37-39 (ESV)
It is really amazing how God can convict and encourage when time is actually spent reading and contemplating on the implications of His word! That is what happened this morning as I read the passage above. God has created me with a heart that loves to love. I love my parents, I love my wife, I love my children, I love people and I am not ashamed to show and share that love. But the corruption of sin has also made my loving heart love idols more than my Creator God. How fast I am to raise my “loves” high and place them on the throne that is reserved for God Almighty.
When we began exploring the call to missions with MTW, we were asked what one of our biggest fears were of becoming a missionary. In our group, it was rather unanimous that we were all fearful of support raising. As the moderators and leaders of our class began to respond, they were all unified in saying that looking back, raising support was a wonderful time of encouragement, refinement and sanctification from God. After raising support for the last 9 months, I can understand how true of a response that was.
God has been abundantly gracious as He has provided the support and supporters that we need to follow the call to Uganda. As I have now entered the roll of a “full-time” support raiser, I was confident that the remaining half of our support would come in as quickly and easily as the first half. God’s provision would not change… and it hasn’t. His grace though has taken on a different form, this time not in the provision of finances but in providing loving conviction. What was I focusing my heart, my “life” on as I worked to raise the last of our support? Serving Christ and his call was certainly up there on the throne, but it was not Christ alone. My idols were right there along side of Christ, crowding out and fighting for the the devotion and praise that is intended for our loving God.
I have been holding on to and worshiping my idol of comfort, and that idol has been effecting the way in which I have approached support raising. If I truly lose my life, my idol infested life, and seek Christ and Him alone, how will that change the way in which I raise support? How will my life change? I don’t know what all the answers are but I know that there will be joy and hope. I am thankful for conviction. I am thankful for His promise to forgive. I am thankful for His promise to be with me through His Spirit. It shows me how much my Heavenly Father truly loves me. The “hope” of Christ is a wonderful thing. While support raising is not easy, I can face it with a renewed excitement and a renewed mission. Christ told us to take up our cross and follow him. Right now, my cross is support raising and I will follow him with it.
Click the link below to listen to a wonderful prayer.
The Valley of Vision